Revolutionary Kind
by zahra

"I think being that hot has to be illegal in this country," Chloe remarks before stuffing another handful of popcorn in her mouth. After a momentary pause for chewing, she continues onward, gesturing at the TV. "That's why all the really hot guys are English and Scottish."

She wipes her hands off on her pajama bottoms, grimacing when she remembers the fake butter that she's just ground into her flannel bunnies. Looking up, she grins at Lana who's firmly ensconced on the other end of the sofa wearing Chloe's green flannel pajamas and making her way through a container of Mint Oreo ice cream.

"Chloe, you're not being fair, there are some really hot American actors."

"Oh, yeah? Name me five." Chloe can't even think of three.

"Um, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg..."

"Because I like you, I'm going to pretend that you don't think Marky-Mark is cute." It's true that Chloe wants to like Lana, but she's not doing much to redeem herself right now -- although she definitely makes a better Wednesday night date than Dawson and Pacey.

"Okay, Elijah Wood."

Chloe chokes on her next handful of popcorn and flails about for the nearest container of Coke. "Lana, he's like twelve!"

"No, he's not, and he's really cute."

"Yeah, in that jailbait way."

"As a sixteen year-old girl, I think I can get away with liking jailbait," Lana says, with a smile. She makes a valid point so Chloe can't really blame her, sometimes she forgets how young they really are. They're not old enough to vote or drink or even have a Blockbuster card, but they're old enough to date and have feelings and really hurt each other.

It's a pain. A big pain.

"I stand by what I said earlier," Chloe replies between sips of her Coke. "American men can't match up. I mean look at what we have to work with. Is it any wonder that we spend our best years at home on the sofa with other girls?" For some reason that remark makes Lana smile at her, and when Chloe looks down she notices that Lana's feet are resting right next her on the sofa. Her toenail polish matches Chloe's blue bunny pajamas.

"If it makes you feel better, Chloe, you're definitely a better date than Clark."

A consolation statement like that should bother her she thinks, but it doesn't. She cares a lot about Clark, but he can be a dick sometimes. "You're only saying that because I didn't take you to a bar out in the middle of the sticks and abandon you."

"No, that's not true," Lana says, sitting up and turning towards Chloe. "I'm saying it because I'm having a really good time."

"Of course you are," Chloe replies with her trademark snark. She's a bit mystified as to when Lana started caring what she thinks. Chloe knows they've been getting closer and maybe it's been coming, but still Lana seems rather determined that Chloe not feel taken for granted. Sure they've been spending more time together, but Lana's eyes are awfully big for an offhanded remark that small.

"Yeah, well, I don't think I can take all the credit for that. I'm sure the fine men of Ben and Jerry's have something to do with it."

"Okay, but only a little bit," Lana says as she and Chloe trade snacks.

Digging into the ice cream, Chloe concedes the point, motioning to the DVDs on the floor. "Okay, just a little bit, but don't forget the power of Moulin Rouge. And you can't forget Mr. Law..." Chloe says, waving at the TV again, before spooning a liberal amount of ice cream into her mouth.

"Oh, god, no one could ever forget Jude Law."

"I know. He's really hot, isn't he?" Chloe agrees around a mouthful of ice cream. "I feel like he should be gay, just because."

"Just because what?" Lana looks a bit confused and it makes Chloe smile the sort of smile that makes her nose wrinkle. Her dad says it makes her look adorable, but she knows the whole effect is lost on Lana, so really it doesn't matter. Instead she makes her point by waving her spoon around like a scepter.

"I mean look at him, Lana. He's too perfect to be straight. It's not fair to the rest of the female population that there's only one of him." It certainly sounds right to Chloe, but when Lana starts laughing uncontrollably she's not so sure.

"It's not that funny you know. I know a lot of other girls that would agree with me."

"I'm not disagreeing with you, Chloe, it's just you got all excited and now you have ice cream on you."

"I do? Where? I got it in my hair, didn't I? Obviously the answer is, yes, because you know the minute my hair goes mental there's going to be some sort of national crisis, and I'll have to write a story looking like a scarecrow. It's how my karma works." Chloe tells Lana this as she puts the ice cream down on the coffee table and prepares for the worst.

It's going to come any minute.

"What are you talking about, Chloe, you never have a bad hair day." Obviously Lana is as blind as Lionel Luthor and has been taking lessons in deception from Clark. Maybe Chloe should offer her some tutoring.

"When did you hit your head?"

"When did I -- what? I haven't hit my head in ages. What are you talking about?"

"Only head trauma could make you think that I have good hair. " Chloe knows about her hair, it's her hair. She's spent half her life trying to make it look passable and the other half trying to figure out if shaving it off would solve all her problems. At the very least she'd save on hair care products. Not for the first time, she has a flash of envy in relation to Lex Luthor.

Some people have it all, and some people just spend all their time consoling those lucky ones.

"Chloe, you're nuts."

"You -- you have good hair. I look like the flying nun."

"You do not. You're being ridiculous."

"No, I'm not. Ask the boys in town, they'll tell you. I think your hair is your secret weapon, like Rapunzel." Not that Chloe has given this much thought up till now, but Lana as Rapunzel also explains that whole 'save the fairy princess now' mentality that the boys in town seem to love so much. "Except your hair isn't as long."


"What? I'm serious. Think about it, your hair is long and straight and really shiny -- straight out of a Pantene commercial. If it were to suddenly turn green I might be a bit concerned, though. But still, it's good hair." Chloe wouldn't mind having hair like it.

"You're making me sound like a horse." Well, Lana is made for breeding, Chloe can see that already, it would be a shame if she didn't. Besides, Lana's bound to wind up with a ton of kids and some great big hulking husband, who well, won't be Whitney. Or judging by his behavior tonight, Clark either.

"Nah, you're much better looking."

"Oh, gee, thanks."


"I'm serious though, I really like your hair. I like how it's flippy and stuff, it's got spunk, it reminds me of you." Spunk reminds Lana of Chloe. How not appropriate.

"Ewww, can you not mention spunk and my hair at the same time? I'll have nightmares about 'Something About Mary' for months." However, if nothing else they'll be a nice change from the repeats of Clark leaving her at the spring dance and telling her over and over how much he just wants to be friends.

"I didn't mean -- I'm sorry. I was just trying to give you a compliment."

"Don't feel obligated to make the world a better place, Lana. That's not quite how it works." Chloe knows how it works. The pretty girls get the boys and the not-so-pretty girls get to be 'friends.'

"I think you're wrong, Chloe."

"Yeah, well, you wouldn't be the first person to say that." Chloe suspects that Lana may be spending time listening to Pete. Of course, he's been relegated to friendship status himself so at least he can understand her pain.

"Then maybe you should listen."

"Maybe I should." And then maybe Chloe will go deaf so she won't have to listen to all the nonsense anymore. Chloe knows she's not what the boys want. They've proved it time and again. Boys suck.

"And maybe you should look in the mirror some time, Chloe."

"I look in the mirror all the time." That's the problem.

"Yeah, but next time, maybe you should try to see what everyone else sees." God, Lana sounds just like Chloe's dad. Next she'll be saying that Chloe has a great heart or some other consolation prize of compliments.

"What? Flippy hair and a big mouth?"

"No, a beautiful girl with an amazing sense of humor and a great personality." Well, at least Chloe knew it was coming. "Right, because you can see my personality blazing across my forehead like a stock ticker."

"I'm saying it because it's true, Chloe. Anyone would be lucky to have you."

"Anyone can have me -- if the price is right."


"What? It was joke, you know, The Price is Right? Bob Barker? Cheap prizes and that big wheel? Oh c'mon, Lana. At least smile." Chloe thought it was funny.

"I didn't think that was very funny, you know." Yes, Chloe's gotten that impression based on the quasi-pout that Lana is currently gracing her with.

"You don't have to be my personal pep squad, Lana. I thought you didn't want to be a cheerleader anymore."

"I just want you to see yourself the way I do."

"The way you do? If I didn't know better I'd say you were hitting on me."

"You'd be right."

She would? And to think that sometimes Chloe wants to be wrong a bit more. "Are you -- are you asking me out?"

"Well, yeah, but if you don't want to I completely understand." Lana would understand if Chloe said no. Would she understand if Chloe just suddenly became fascinated with Lana's toes which are still resting right next to Chloe's legs?

"I, um. Wow." It's definitely a 'wow' moment for Chloe when Lana finally moves from her end of sofa to sit right next to Chloe. Lana's thigh is pressed right against Chloe's, and maybe it's all the flannel that's making Chloe feel a bit warm.

"I take it that's a no."

"No -- no, I'd like to, I'm just a bit surprised."

"Why?" Chloe can think of a lot of reasons why starting with flannel and ice cream and Clark and Whitney and Jude Law.

"Well, because -- I mean aren't you straight?"

"Being 'straight' is just a name tag, like being a cheerleader." God, Chloe never thought Lana could be so philosophical, but this certainly seems to be the night for surprises. "Have you ever seen that movie, Chloe?"

"What movie?"

"'But I'm a Cheerleader.'"

"No, I can't say that I have." Of course Chloe's never been asked out by a girl either, but she's open to new experiences, obviously. That's why she hasn't suddenly jumped off the sofa and complete shock. That's why when she turns her head and Lana is right there she doesn't freak out.

"We should watch it sometime."

"Okay, fine, just you know, wait a minute. I'm sorry, Lana, I need a quick second." Chloe didn't mean for Lana to move away, so when she reaches out and grabs Lana's hand to pull her back down, it's purely a reactionary movement. "I didn't mean you had to leave -- I just meant that I never took you for the revolutionary kind."

"What are you talking about, Chloe, what revolution?" Lana's sitting next to Chloe again, and she seems even closer than ever. Chloe didn't know Lana's eyes were hazel, too. They're just like Chloe's, only less green.

"Lana Lang, bisexual sweetheart of Smallville? The Ledger will probably have to run a special edition," and Chloe will be the one with the scoop. Maybe the Planet will be looking to fill their quota on minority hiring and she can submit her article -- 'The Truth about Cheerleaders and Sexuality -- why being Bi is Better,' by Chloe Sullivan.

"I don't really care if they run a Sunday special offering a free coffee at the Talon, although that may be a good business strategy."


"I'm being serious, Chloe, I don't care about the paper, I care about you. Will starting a revolution get me a date with you?" Chloe never thought of herself as Helen of Troy, maybe Lex isn't the only one who's into Greek history.

"Um, yeah, if that's really what you want."

"Okay, a revolution it is, just point me towards the battlefield."

"You're serious, aren't you?" It takes Chloe a minute to register how bright Lana's eyes are, even with the flickering blue light from the television. For some reason, watching a naked Jude Law inspire Stephen Fry's Oscar Wilde suddenly isn't that interesting.


"Okay, Joan of Arc, how about we just start off on the home front?"

"That'll work too, but, um, does that mean I can kiss you now?"

"Only if you agree to get the ice cream out my hair."


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