So Judas Did
by Victoria P.

Halloween 1981

Lily rushed up the stairs, Harry clutched in her arms, as James attempted to stop Voldemort at the door. Harry squirmed and whimpered. She kissed the top of his head, breathing in the scent of baby powder and clean, baby skin.

She couldn't believe he was here at the house.

They'd worked so hard to stay safe -- the defensive wards and charms, created by Remus and then specially modified by Dumbledore himself, based on Sirius's nebulous suspicions. The Fidelius Charm, giving their lives and their son's into the hands of their closest friends -- again, changed at the last minute because Sirius thought it was safer. The move to Godric's Hollow, allegedly protected by a spell cast by Gryffindor himself, just before he'd died, meant to protect his heirs down through the ages.

And yet, none of it was enough.

She sobbed when green light flashed downstairs, cursing the anti-Apparation wards she'd insisted on; she didn't care about splinching herself, but Harry was altogether too little to undergo the experience.

She cursed Sirius's name, next, for convincing James that Remus was the spy, for being so desperately upset about it and at the same time sure he was right.

Poor, dear Remus, the worried furrow between his brows deepening every day as his friends pulled away and wouldn't tell him why. They ought to have trusted him, but Sirius had seemed so sure.

Sirius had been wrong.

They'd never suspected Peter.

And Peter had betrayed them. She couldn't wrap her head around it. Peter loved James, practically worshiped him.

Of course, Judas had loved Jesus.

They'd trusted the little rat, forgetting that rats always leave a sinking ship. He'd deserted them because they were losing. She ought to have known.

Harry cried softly in her arms, bringing her back to the present, to her current predicament. There was no way out. She pressed another kiss to Harry's head, then put him in his crib. She'd do whatever was necessary to save him.

Voldemort drifted into the nursery as if out for a Sunday stroll, wand extended.

She reached for her wand, and he disarmed her with a drawled, "Expelliarmus." He raised his wand.

"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"

"Stand aside, you silly girl. Stand aside, now."

"Not Harry, please no!" she begged, blocking the way to the crib. "Take me, kill me instead. Have mercy, please! Mercy!"

He laughed. "Mercy? My dear girl, there is no mercy here, and certainly none for Mudbloods. Mercy is for the weak. Now get out of the way."

"No! Please!"

A desperate prayer for Harry.

"Avada Kedavra!"

A flash of green.

And the dark.


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