Bloody Chiaroscuro Moment
by vic

You probably remember that day, when Angel said "We'll be ready, but today, I want you guys to go out. Live. Do whatever you want." You might remember Spike knocking back whiskies, then quoting one of his Cecily-period poems, to tumultuous applause. But what you don't remember is the last poem he read that evening.

"You're obviously all amorata - ciao! - of good poetry, so to finish, here's my magnum piece de resistance opus. See, I've been attending writing classes. It's been interesting and I've learned a lot. Like, for example, what a bloody fantastic rhyme "bulge in it" and "effulgent" was.

My final poem displays my grasp of poetic style. And talks about the good old days, a long, long time ago, when the world was young and Buffy loved me. Sort of. A bit. -Ish."

I wandered lonely as a vampire
My heart was burning like a campfire

"No. Wait. I remember now, I decided that one was a bit too derivative. Start again."

Once, on a dark and lonely day I sat alone and wondering
Was I doing the right thing, I asked myself, not sure
Was this the right Spike action? Was I maybe blundering?
My motives, after all, were the purest of the pure
So was this right? Should I go and get Buffy?
Was I thinking clearly or were my thoughts fluffy?

See, what it was, our farmboy friend...
Oh, hang on a sec, I'll intro the personae
Can't say I liked them all, no need to pretend
The hanger-on, the witch, the psycho and the phoney...
Anyhow, the farmboy was a bloke named Riley Finn
And Buffy was - well, frankly, wouldn't know where to begin.

"Okay, Longfellow."

Buffy had been screwing Riley
Screwing Riley, I could hear her
She would yell her sweet blonde head off
Sounds a demon could've fed off
Crying "Riley, Riley, Riley"
"Riley, Riley", squeaking highly,
"Riley, Riley" groaning deeply,
God, she got her pleasures cheaply.
No, wait, least he wasn't Broody
Too damn cheerful to do moody.
Anyway, so they were screwing
Every damn day they were doing
It and then I found Iowa...
with a'd he got to know 'er?
Well, farmboy was getting bitten
Bitten, bitten, he was smitten
Liked the pain and felt all evil
His life's most thrilling upheaval
Sod beloved little Buffy,
Felt he had a Higher Purpose
Thought that he was cool and clever
Thought that he...well, right, whatever.

When I found about the biting, I spent lonely nights awake
My only friend, my strong right hand, wrapped round a cold beer can
I didn't know where now to go, what path this Spike should take.
See Buffy was my only love, and I, her greatest fan.
So should I tell her now the truth - of Riley being bitten?
And should it be done face to face? By photo, or handwritten?

"I was in despair. Time for Robert Frost, obviously."

Beer in my crypt here, crypt here beer
My hopes are lowered when night comes on
But let there never be ring pulls at dawn
Between you and me.
Vague beer-can lifted up off the ground
Hey, it's not whisky, I should be proud
Not even your silver tongue talking aloud
Could be profound.
But Can, I have seen you upended and drunk
And if you have seen me when I slept,
You have seen me when I thought 'Buffy!' and wept
Oh, god, I'm sunk.
That day I found Riley had just lost the plot
Made me drown my sorrows with you, dear Can
See she needs a demon; he's only a man
Can't she see I'm what she needs; he's not!

Spike, alone in his night-dark crypt
Knew there was only one course of action
Buffy, would have somehow to be tipped
Off, then she'd go up like a fission reaction.
The only thing I could think was to show her,
Then she'd get shot of boyfriend from Iowa.

So, off I went, steel in my soul
Determined to save the woman I love
I knew that she hadn't gone out on patrol
And thought that I could, when push came to shove
Explain that she really must come out with me
Because there was something she really must see.

"Okay. So I went and told her. She agreed to come with me. Wasn't too happy about it, though..."

So there we were, both beautiful and blond Okay, she was blond with an 'e' And I was damn close to the slough of despond Well, you'd have been also, if you were me. I knew she'd be upset; was I doing right? (Though she always makes me horny when she's spoiling for a fight).

We then approached the vampire's nest, and sod it, I felt scared Riley thought he was so hot 'cos he'd learned to love the bite But, Buffy was so...special that I wonder how I dared Make it plain that what she needed was a creature of the night. Anyway, we tracked on in, shoved vampires out the way... Ever seen the face of the one you love go a ghastly shade of gray?

So...William Carlos Williams

She was standing
that was not
that surprising
I was probably
her more than you'd think.
Forgive me, Buffy,
I was in shock there
having a bloody
chiaroscuro moment.

See the light that was falling on Riley's gaunt face
Made the scene one of beauty and pain
Almost for a second, in that dark and light place
I could see Riley's charm - ok, I was insane
Don't get me wrong, honest it was the blood-scent, it's not like I
wanted to kiss him
And no, since you ask, I hated the sod and I seriously don't bloody
miss him.

Turned back to Buffy, but she was out fighting
And things went from bad to worse
Let that be a lesson, boys - when wrongs need righting
A sense of what's right? THAT's a curse!
Anyway, I shouldn't have tried to show her the dark truth
Well, listen!! I was young then!! Ah, the innocence of youth!

"Well, that was all a long time ago. And to tell you the bloody truth, things really did go from bad to worse in the time that passed after all that. I mean there was the sex, but even that...Ah well, since we're marshalling our forces for tonight, then it's Eminem or nothing:"

The more you put me through
It just made me wanna come back to you
And the more you slapped me,
the more it turned me on
Who'd ever have thought that the sex would be hot
And then I'd bloody find, must be losing my Spike mind
That the sex, sod it, this is so complex
Wouldn't be the be-all
That I'd really ever fall
For a slayer who never really loved me at all.
Went through heaven but the wrong kind of heaven
Pain and pleasure all rolled into one, should have been fun
But I felt your pain, didn't know who you were
Come back to life and wrestle with your fate
Well, been there myself with death, so I can bloody relate
Never once saw you
The way I wanted to
Tenderness in your eyes after sweet love-making
Yes, I went through the actions, see Spike screw
Do it to you, what you wanted me to do
But deep inside me, Buffy, my bloody heart was breaking
So off old Spike trotted and got me a soul
Hole in my head? Yeah, maybe true
Didn't want me, did you? But hey, at least I can say that
You trusted me then, way back when
When the Scoobies all wanted me to die, can see why,
You were there, seemed to care.
Oh well, guess I sort of won out in the end
Save the world, hero-time, call the Slayer your friend.

"And what now, you ask?"

Now what? In a new world, and I'm back with new heartbreak
Weird science girl, came through some kind of portal
Rogue demon hunter, Angel, lawyer (he's a fake)
Then science girl died badly; Buffy's fucking the Immortal.
Well, I guess at the end, here's the way to die, seems right
Angel at my side, and we'll go down with a fight.

"And now I'm off to die saving the world again, only I'm really going to die this time. You've been brilliant. Thank you. Goodbye."


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