Lost And Found
by Stellamaru

Spring, 1978

"Remus?" Sirius stretched out his arms from his position, lying on his back with his legs resting at a right angle against the tree trunk. He was painfully bored.

"Yes?" Remus was sitting against the tree in a mirror of Sirius's position.

"What do you think love feels like?" Sirius said, looking at his friend closely, but trying to make it seem casual.

Remus blinked twice and closed his book. "What brought this on?"

"Well... look at James and Lily. She hated him for how long, and then all of a sudden she fell in love with him?" They were probably snogging in some closet somewhere. Sirius would hate to admit it, but he missed having James constantly available for mischief. And at least when James was pining for Evans, Sirius didn't have to think much about who he ought to be pining after. "How did they know? How'd she know?" Maybe if he figured out who Remus fancied, it would help Sirius decide who to fancy.

Remus shook his head and brushed his hair out of his face. "Worried you've blown your chances with Severus?" he said, his mouth twitching in a smile.

Sirius frowned and swung his legs down. "You'll pay for that," he said, lunging at Remus and catching the edge of his robes as Remus tried to roll out of the way. Together, they tumbled down the slight incline and landed in a tangle with Sirius half on top of Remus. Sirius kept his expression stern, but truthfully he was bursting with happiness. Remus hadn't joked about Snape once--hadn't even mentioned his name to Sirius--since that ill-planned prank the year before. Now he was joking? That meant more to Sirius than any words of forgiveness mumbled under James's watchful eyes.

Remus shoved him lightly, but didn't try to get up. Sirius squinted in the afternoon sun and looked at Remus curiously. It felt like this was an important moment, one that shouldn't be joked about or passed over, but he couldn't put his finger on why. Then Remus blinked and looked up the hill towards the school; Peter was calling to them.

"We should go up," Remus said slowly, standing and brushing the grass blades off his robe.

"Yeah," Sirius said, following after. There would be other moments.


Summer, 1995

Sirius coughed and pulled a handful of cobwebs out of his hair. Number twelve Grimmauld would never be suitable for human occupation, he thought, but since he couldn't do anything about that it should at least be clean. "Remus?"

"Yes?" Remus said from the stove, where he was attempting to make tea without unearthing any new household pests.

Sirius drew a deep breath. "What do you think love feels like?" he said in a rush. His throat felt tight and his hands were clammy. This was a moment he hadn't let himself think about in Azkaban. He wondered if Remus would remember.

Remus smiled, and when Sirius raised his eyes, Remus was ready to meet them with an amused gaze. "What brought this on?" he said, setting his kettle down and walking over to Sirius.

"Well... look at James and Lily," Sirius said, straightening his posture. "She hated him for how long, and then all of a sudden she fell in love with him? How did they know? How'd she know?" If Remus remembered that sunny spring afternoon and that lost moment--a moment that was soon swallowed and forgotten in the chaos of NEWTs and then the Order, espionage, and finally that cold, horrible suspicion--if he remembered, he would say something. He would.

Remus moved until he was directly in front of Sirius. "Worried you've blown your chances with Severus?" he said in a low whisper tinged with the hint that not only did he remember, but that he'd thought about it almost as often as Sirius had.

"You'll pay for that," Sirius choked out, half laughing, half shaking because Remus was so close. Sirius's mind latched on the memory of that day, only now the seconds seemed to stretch into long hours. He saw his young self, confused and poised on the brink of something important, and he wanted to kick that arrogant child in the head. Or push him into his friend, so obviously waiting for-- his train of thought cut off abruptly with the surprising sensation of Remus kissing him. Soft, but bristly and undeniably strong, Remus's kiss sent strange ripples down Sirius's spine.

"We should go up?" Remus said pulling back, his breath brushing Sirius's mouth. Sirius didn't much care to move at all.

"Yeah," he said, closing the gap between them. He wasn't going to risk losing this moment to second thoughts; who knew how much time would pass before another came?


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