Like Humans Do (The Cold, Unexpected Remix)
by Stellamaru

Remix of Like Humans Do by Mosca.

At first, it was like a twitch, or a soft buzzing noise. Barely noticeable, and just one more layer of annoyance on top of the multitude of tiny things living in such close quarters with humans had taught T'Pol to ignore.

The smell was the worst thing, and the most easily combated with the nasal suppressant.

The questions were unpleasant, but bearable. Curiosity was a highly valued trait amongst humans, and T'Pol had been briefed to expect intrusive questions. She sometimes wondered if Dr. Phlox experienced quite the same level of curiosity directed towards him, though of course she would never ask.

The stares were... disconcerting, but not unexpected. T'Pol knew her body fit well within human standards for sexual attractiveness. She also knew that humans did not confine their mating to a prescribed period, and instead existed in a near constant state of readiness.

What she did not expect was her own physical response. It itched at her neck and sent twinges down her spine. One day it was so distracting, she didn't hear Captain Archer when he asked for her report three times.

"Is anything bothering you, Sub-commander?" he said, his mouth turning up in an expression she'd learned signaled amusement.

"I do not believe I am ill," she replied, and his amused expression deepened.

"Maybe you need a night off," he said. "It just so happens that 'Marnie' is tonight's movie--"

"I think a quiet evening of meditation and reflection would be more... fulfilling," she said. The captain smiled widely and the other bridge officers followed suit, all flashing their open amusement. All except for Lieutenant Reed, who was attempting to hide his expression, and Ensign Sato, who wasn't looking at T'Pol or the captain. T'Pol furrowed her brow. Humans often found her amusing.

That evening, she meditated for three hours before going to sleep. The meditation calmed her, but the next day the itch was back, picking at her vertebrae. At the end of her shift, she decided to consult the doctor.


Dr. Phlox bent down and examined one of his creatures, dropping a morsel into its cage. T'Pol perched on the edge of a biobed, watching him. The room had an organic scent, overlaid with antiseptic, which cut through T'Pol's suppressant.

"You are certain," T'Pol said. Phlox was also prone to humor. T'Pol did not know if this was a trait shared by all Denobulans, or if his was a unique personality.

Phlox pursed his mouth. "Quite certain, I'm afraid," he said, standing to face her. "It's most curious that your arousal response is almost exclusively dictated by human female pheromones. It would make an interesting paper topic, if--" he cut short and tented his fingers. "Well. I believe I can devise a medical treatment with little difficulty, though, ah, in the interest of avoiding unwanted side effects, you may wish to look into more... natural methods."

T'Pol nodded, but did not move.

"I'm sure you have several options in the crew to choose from, should you so desire..." Phlox said.

"I do not desire any of this," T'Pol said sharply.

"Of course."


Ensign Suarez, Ensign Nowak, Ensign Sato, Crewman Than, or Crewman Cooper. T'Pol ran through the list she had compiled in her mind of potentials. Each of these women exhibited a marked spike in pheromone production in T'Pol's presence. She had spent a week testing this, making sure that she was the only person present when she entered their work areas. The itch was now persistent almost to the point of pain.

Sato. It should be Sato. T'Pol had worked with her more than any of the others, and had what could be deemed an agreeable relationship with her.

Yes. Sato.

When she approached Sato in the corridor, she did not expect her request to be met with jokes. Truthfully, T'Pol still had difficulty discerning when a human was attempting humor. Most of them signaled it by punctuating their remarks with a smile or a laugh, but this was not foolproof. T'Pol had seen humans smile and laugh while experiencing fear, sadness, anger, and many other emotions. She did not understand it.

Eventually, Sato agreed to meet and assist with her problem. That knowledge alone seemed to ease some of the itch, but perhaps that was a psychosomatic response.

When she prepared for their meeting, she neutralized her nasal suppressant. Scent was an important component, even if her partner initially smelled distasteful.

She was precisely on time. Both she and Sato had bridge shifts the next morning.


The act itself was time-consuming; Sato wanted to touch and lick and fondle. None of these things were necessary, but T'Pol acquiesced. Humans expected their sexual partners to be considerate of their needs, and to compromise when needed.

When Sato's licking took on a frustrated, desperate quality, T'Pol stopped her. "Vulcan females do not experience orgasm as humans do," she said. Sato's face formed a new expression; one T'Pol was not familiar with. She declined T'Pol's offer to reciprocate.

T'Pol walked back to her own quarters. It had worked; she felt relieved. But... it was so little. It was nothing like Pon Farr, when fire ignited in your veins and threatened death if you did not submit to it. If it was always like this for humans, it was no surprise they desired sexual contact almost constantly.

The next day, before her shift, she walked into Sickbay and told Phlox to synthesize the drug.

Sato's pheromone levels stayed at a flat constant when T'Pol took her station on the bridge.


Silverlake: Authors / Mediums / Titles / Links / List / About / Updates / Silverlake Remix