A Life In Cardboard
by Sängerin

Some people lived out of suitcases -- Tom lived out of cardboard boxes. Somewhere in the basement of Thames House was the evidence of Tom's many lives, stored away in boxes, hidden from public view.

In a box labelled 'Matthew Archer' there is a picture by Maisie, shakily drawn in crayon and addressed "To Matthew". Every so often he goes downstairs and gets out this box; he looks at the photo of Maisie and her mother, and wonders where they are now. He imagines Maisie, bright and bubbly and two years older than the last time he saw her. He misses the child and her trusting view of the world. He misses her hugs. He misses her mother. He misses being Matthew Archer.

On the anniversary of Helen's death, Tom goes downstairs and opens the box labelled "Stephen Wilkes". There are photos, including one of their wedding; a bunch of credit cards, an Internet for Dummies manual, and his wedding right. He has bought a toy turtle and he adds it to the box as a sort of memorial. He closes the box again reverently, and remembers the life in Helen's face, trying desperately not to remember the screams of her death. He knows that he shares his nightmares with Claire. She wrote to Stephen to thank him, and the letters eventually filtered through the bureaucracy to Tom. She was doing well, or so the letters said. Tom barely cares any more.

There is very little in the box labelled "Lieut. David Getty". It's a legend he wants to put behind him. The box holds military ID and a copy of Tom's final report. The box hasn't left the shelf since it was placed there when the exercise was over.

It is Zoe who packs up the box. As brother and sister, the legends are packed up together, labelled "Jack and Katherine (Katie) Lucas". Tom is in no state to pack up the photos, the designs for the faked jewellery, the music CDs and the gym membership card. Zoe is barely in a better state, but she is the only one left. She cries while she packs the box, but her face is cold and expressionless when she hands it on to Storage.

Somewhere there is a box labelled Tom Quinn. The old Tom Quinn, the studious boy whose parents had been certain he would 'make something' of his life. Who went off to the LSE and never really came back. Not the real Tom. He doesn't exist any more. The real Tom Quinn is packed up in a cardboard box in a storeroom in the bowels of Thames House, with the rest of his lives.

 

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