Like George Michael
by Sami

"You are an idiot! Can you understand that? Because you sure as hell can't understand 'wait here'!" Cordelia shouted as she fought the urge to tear her hair and strangle Gunn. The hair tearing part was an exaggeration but the strangle Gunn part wasn't.

"I'm the idiot? Sorry, Little Miss Fighting Heels, I'll never save your ungrateful hide again," Gunn replied in kind, with the same urge to tear out her hair. Neither Gunn nor Cordelia seemed aware that Wesley and Angel were watching their display with a mix of amusement and annoyance.

"That's another thing! If you hadn't jumped through the window like your ass was on fire I wouldn't have had to use my heels to poke his eyes out! Now there is goop all over my Gucci heels!" she yelled, tapping her nylon-garbed foot and shaking her heels in his face.

"If those are Gucci, then I'm Nelson Mandela. Don't shove your knock-offs in my face!" Gunn said, pushing her heels away. Wesley and Angel grimaced.

Angel whispered, "I'd hate to be him." He shook his head. "Knock-offs. Moron."

Wesley nodded. "Cordelia's turning a rather fetching shade of purple. I think we should break them up."

"Yeah, that's a great idea. Boss," Angel said as he slapped Wesley on the back and turned to walk to his car. Wesley glared at him but straightened up and cracked his neck before walking toward the fighting pair. The duo didn't stop their yelling, which had progressed to insulting either one's heritage, when Wesley cleared his throat. He looked nervously at the tall hotel over his shoulder for any lights of curious guests who wanted to know who was shouting in their garden. He was worried that even with all the leafy green foliage, they would be spotted. Wesley coughed and tapped his foot loudly to no avail. He didn't try tapping one of them on the shoulder.

"Um, Cordelia? Gunn? Maybe we should get to the car," Wesley said hesitantly as he looked around, hoping no one would notice them. He wasn't optimistic. He also hoped that no one would find the shape-shifting demon's corpse until they made their getaway. Which was in Angel's car and no matter if they were on the verge of liking him again didn't mean that Wesley trusted him not to take off. "Could you all shut up?" He yelled. "I hate to be rude but you are both acting like the morons you claim the other to be. Let's resume the fight at the office, shall we?"

Cordelia and Gunn gave Wesley identical looks of disdain. Cordelia huffed as she tried to retain her dignity while walking bare foot to the parking lot. Gunn looked over at Wesley and his disdainful look melted into embarrassment. "So, morons?"

Wesley nodded. "Extremely. You two... I hate to sound sexist but really, man, just have sex already." Wesley noted Gunn's grimace with amusement. "The tension could be cut withŠ"


"-Safety scissors!" Cordelia said as she wiped off her high-heeled shoes with a napkin. She was so eager to dish to someone that she forgot that she was mad at Angel.

Angel raised an eyebrow. "So you think Wesley and Gunn areŠ"

"Not think. Know. Did I not mention the tension? Geez, you of all men should realize what I'm talking about." Cordelia turned her head and didn't see Angel's confused face. "Here they are, act natural!" Gunn and Wesley climbed into the back of Angel's black Plymouth. "So, I told Aura that I would never do nudityŠunless it was tasteful, of course."

Angel grimaced and the boys in the back looked interested as he started up the car and they drove off. Angel shook his head. "So, are we going to your office or the Hyperion?"

Gunn looked over at Wesley and Cordelia poked Angel in the side in triumph. Wesley sighed and rubbed his neck. "Ours. I suppose."

"So, Gunn, what have you learned about orders?" Cordelia asked over her shoulder.

"Not to take any from you."

"Cordelia, Gunn, must you fight all the time?" Wesley asked between sighs.

"Wes, must you be such a buzz kill?" Cordelia asked mockingly as Gunn asked in the same tone, "Wes, must you be such pansy?" They looked at each other in horror as Wesley laughed. Angel shook his head again feeling kind of lonely. He enjoyed being around them but when they weren't ignoring him.

"I am proven right once again!" Wesley said between chuckles and was still shaking with laughter even when Gunn slugged him on the shoulder. Cordelia raised an eyebrow in question at Gunn, who just shrugged.

"Ok, now you're just weirder than usual." Cordelia said with a sniff.

"All this time with us colonials must have turned him loopy," Gunn said to Cordelia, who was now sitting with her chin resting on the back of her seat facing the boys.

"And I had such high hopes for him."

Wes, Gunn, and Cordelia had a regular banter going on when Angel dropped them off at their premises. They said their goodbye in between gently insulting each other or Angel.


"I don't know how the hell I'm going to be able to stand it any longer. Those three will drive me around the bend with their 'tension' and really, my senses can't take that much constantly," Angel said, tapping his full bottle.

"I feel for you, Angel, muffin, I really do but what can you do beside lock them in a room together," Lorne said as he set down his Sea Breeze. "Actually, now that I think about that. Not only is it great on the Soaps, it just might work."

Angel's forehead wrinkled up. "Lock them in a room? Well, I do live in a hotel. There are roomsŠ"

Lorne waved his hand at Angel. "Go on, muffin, you know you want to! It's like George Michael. Good and good for you."

Morning found Angel sitting at his desk with a phone at his ear. He tapped his fingers on his wooden desk listening to the ringing on the phone, half hoping Cordelia was home and that she wasn't. He hadn't been this nervous in a while, but with the chance that he could be staked, beheaded, and bludgeoned with high heels, he felt his worry justified.

"Cordelia? Hey, this is Angel. Can you call Gunn and Wes? Tell them to come over to the hotel? You too. Yeah, Yeah, I know it's morning. No, I don't have any dead lawyer trophies. Ok, see you then." As he set the phone down he was certain that after they screwed themselves silly they would kill him.


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