My Soul Is At The End Of The Universe
by Pablo

The first time was in an old abandoned warehouse that sat squat and ominous, poised like a gargoyle on the edge of Wellington harbour. The large barn-like room was dimly lit and a thick haze obscured Elijah's vision. He couldn't really see much through the cigarette haze and the flashes of light that fractured his vision, but he could see Dom.

Dom, who swayed crazily to the music, almost preternatural. Dom who had pressed the small white pill into his hand earlier that night and whispered into his ear that he'd look after him. Words that washed over him like water.

Dom who tasted warm and sweet and who would always remind Elijah of the thick haze of fog that swept into Wellington every morning through July. The way that Elijah could feel its touch against his skin.

Dom had pressed himself close; Elijah could feel the touch of his hipbone against his waist as Dom rocked against him. He pressed his mouth against Elijah's ear and whispered, "I love you."

And for the first time in his life, Elijah had believed it.


The second time they'd sat around a table out the back of Peter's house. Sun filtered from behind them, through the shade of a large Pohutakawa tree and painted small patches of light that flickered across Elijah's vision.

Elijah had eaten too much and his belly felt stretched taut, almost to its limit. He watched Billy and Dom as they sat opposite him, heads dipped down and voices low. Like conspirators plotting a train heist. Between those two, nothing would have surprised Elijah at all.

Elijah had taken another tiny sip of his drink and when he moved the glass back from his lips, now moist, Dom had looked up at him. Straight into his eyes. Elijah had found himself smiling and Dom had smiled too.

Not long after, Elijah had stood and headed back inside, past Orli who had cornered Pete and was now talking his ear off. Elijah grabbed the bottle and as he was pouring himself another glass, a hand had snaked around his waist, pressed a wide line just above his hip and pulled him back. Dom was warm against him and reinforced why so many times Elijah had said New Zealand felt like his home.

"Love you."

Dom's voice sent shivers through Elijah's body and when Dom bit the soft lobe of his ear, Elijah melted against him. Elijah could feel Dom pushing against him and like always, Dom made Elijah want to do things that he normally wouldn't have even thought about.

Like pushing Dom back against the large white refrigerator in Peter and Fran's kitchen and sinking down to his knees to suck Dom's cock greedily into his mouth.

Dom made Elijah want.


The third time had been different from the others, different for so many reasons.

"I'm going back to L.A. for awhile."

"You are? When did all this happen?"

Dom looked half-asleep and he wiped the back of his hand across his eyes in an effort to wake himself up. He was lying back on the bed; covers pooled around his waist and Elijah could see the dip of his hipbone and lower. Dom's stomach was smooth and Elijah could trace a dark line of hair that travelled lower, that led down.

"It's just this thing, Dom. Please don't make it into something."

"Like what? Like yet again you're leaving me here? So who is it?"

"Who? What?"

Elijah sighed and he could clearly see that only made Dom even angrier.

"It's just for this party, it's not like I love her or anything." Elijah sounded like he was pleading and in a way he was. All he wanted was for Dom to understand that everything else didn't matter. That Dom was all that mattered to him.

"Well, what the fuck are you doing going with her then?"

"I... have to. You know I have to, Dom. Can we not do this now?"

Dom looked even angrier, his mouth twisted up and he chewed on his lip like he always did. Elijah knew this was one of those looks that he was supposed to avoid seeing.

Dom crawled up onto his knees, covers forgotten and twisted around the bottom of his legs. Elijah just watched him as he crawled out of bed. Dom scrambled on the floor until he picked up his pants and then pulled them on.

"Look, Elijah. We've been over this, okay? I love you, but I can't put up with this crap anymore. When you get back I'll be gone."

The third time had been the last.


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