Twentyish Lies Told To Rose Tyler
Dear Rose,
Please select from the following options.
1. I was found under a gooseberry bush in 1972. There was a card that said "his name is The." When I got to school I started telling people I was an alien, which for some reason most people could believe. It's just about possible that I really am.
2. The great and noble House of Lungbarrow consists of forty-six cousins, spun from the Loom whenever one dies and needs replacing. We were cursed to infertility by the Wicked Witch of the West and that was the best solution we could come up with. That says pretty much all you need to know about Galifrey.
2.1 It is possible that there was some recycling involved somewhere.
3. I was born to Emilie du Chatelet in 1741 and taken back to Gallifrey because they didn't have a welfare state. I have never met my mother and I'm not sure what would happen if I did.
4. I am in fact you from a parallel universe.
4.1 Or are you me from a parallel universe?
5. You are my mother.
6. I am your mother.
7. My mother was called Penelope and my father's name was Ulysses. So as you can see I did pretty well not to inherit a name from either of them.
8. I'm an inventor from the future, from a time when the Earth is polluted beyond the capacity to sustain life. I built a time machine and went back to the 1960s with my granddaughter so that she could have a better life.
9. I am a fictional character from a long-running British television series. Let's hope we don't get cancelled!
10. By an unusual quirk of time travel, I am both of my own parents.
11. I was born four hundred years ago in the highlands of Scotland and am probably not immortal.
12. I'm worried that you'd hate me if I told you who I really am.
13. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
14. I was cloned from a mushroom found in a field in 1962
15. Iris Wildthyme occasionally looked at me in a speculative fashion that was not entirely sexual. I think I'm glad I never asked about that.
16. Leela of the Sevateem married Andred of the House of RedLooms. There was at least one child.
17. I was travelling in the TARDIS with this man and one day, when he was very old, he said "you know, I'm not really the Doctor." I was surprised by this, but quite prepared to take a job offer when I recognised one.
18. The man who was going to destroy Gallifrey died before he could press the button. And I couldn't do it while I was still me.
19. At least one civilisation claims that I didn't exist until they were forced to invent me.
20. I was conceived in a field. Both my parents were ginger at the time.
21. I'm what comes of teaching science via television.
22. The universe next door was full.
23. I've told so many lies about it that I honestly don't know anymore.
24. No one has any idea where I came from.
25. At least one of these things is true.