Life Begins At Forty (or, How Jackie Tyler Shagged An Alien)
by Nostalgia

Jackie Tyler is fairly certain that she could get in the papers for this. If you can get in The Sun for shagging a football player, you should get in for shagging an alien. Maybe she could get one of those double-page things in The News of the World. 'Sexy Jackie Tyler (42) tells all about her out-of-this-world romps with an alien lifeform.' Maybe a picture of her with her top off and her hair up. Nothing tasteless, though.

Not that she has actually shagged an alien yet, though there's been some kissing and a bit of awkward fumbling against a wall. But in Jackie's experience such things almost always leads to sex, so she's really just planning ahead on that front. She's almost certainly about to shag an alien.

There is a smile on his lips and a gleam in his eye and together they are amused by her youth. No one has looked at her like this in years and years and far too long. She's just the wrong side of forty, though they say that this is when life begins. Bollocks it is, she thinks to herself, but she's found the one man on this planet who's an older man and yet still looks young enough to stroke her ego a bit. And hopefully other places, she thinks, because there's nothing wrong with being a bit obvious sometimes.

Maybe he likes that, the way she sees him like she'd see any other man. It must be nice to have everyone treat you like you're special, but she can see why it would start to wear you down after a while. Maybe sometimes you get bored with saving the world and all you really want's a good seeing to. The reverse is also true, of course, but Jackie's not really one to save the world, the use of tea aside.

Rose might be though, and she's always resented the fact that he took Rose instead of her, the way he made her feel so old and so surplus to requirements. That when she finally met a man who could take her away from all this he went off with a younger woman instead. Story of her life, really. It feels selfish to take something from Rose, but Rose's hold on him is temporary and slighter than anyone involved might like to pretend. So it's not really wrong, because the whole thing's messed up anyway.

She doesn't even entirely intend to maneuver him like she does, backing up into her bedroom until she's pressing him against the wall. That's just how things work; that's how you get men to do things for you. It's what he wants from her, isn't it? The same thing they all want, alien or not. It's only when she catches his look of mild confusion that she realises that, no, maybe it isn't.

Or maybe it's just reluctance. Maybe she really is too old and lined and saggy. She knows he's so much older than she is, but he seems so young, younger even than he looks now. God, she's such a desperate old woman, such a cliche, such a-

"I'm don't know what you want," he says. "Well, I do, obviously, but I don't know why."

Jackie knows, more than she's ever known anything. "I want to feel young."

He strokes her cheek with a careful fingertip. "Is that why you do it?" That's not what he's supposed to say. He's supposed to tell her how pretty she is, how much he wants her. He's supposed to say it like he almost means it and like he's not just saying it to get a quick fumble with the lights out.

"I don't like being lonely," she says, more honest than she means to be. She's not having that, though, she's not letting him know everything about her. Jackie Tyler knows how men think, and she knows that this one's weak spot is guilt. She makes herself look vulnerable and says, "I know I'm not much to look at."

He settles his hands on her waist and studies her. "I'm not really an expert on what's attractive in humans. You lot like weird things, like waxed eyebrows and plastic breasts and too many muscles and shoes no one can walk in. To be honest there's a few people I've thought were aliens in really unconvincing disguises but then it turned out they were famous for being beautiful."

Jackie isn't quite sure how to take that.

"You've got lovely eyes though," he adds. "And you're all soft and curvy and you're kind. You're a lot more intelligent than you let on, and you care about people. You're very strong. And you make a good cup of tea."

Jackie laughs and he kisses her and there is a not-quite-passion to it that lifts a couple of years from her.

Jackie Tyler is almost certainly about to shag an alien. It doesn't feel as strange as it probably should.

He doesn't really seem all that alien, truth be told. There's the casting off of bodies and the time travel and all that saving the world stuff, but underneath it all he's just a man. Jackie knows what men are like, and presses herself against this one. The details are drowned out by universal truths; the slightly odd taste of his mouth means less than the quick gasps that emerge from it when she shifts her weight and brushes against parts of him that are definitely male.

She's on home turf with this, confidently working on his tie as his jacket hits the floor, his hands finding her hips and her waist and the skin under her clothes. He looks slightly dazed when she takes her top off and he's not so clever that he doesn't fumble a bit with the clasp on her bra. His skin is slightly too cool under her fingers, and his pulse feels all wrong. That's because he's alien, but she knows she'd never make that connection if she didn't already know. There's something strangely polite about the way he helps her out of her clothes, as though he hasn't entirely realised that her being naked means he'll get to have sex. He's a bit odd, she thinks, not going A to B to C like normal people.

She sits on the bed and feels suddenly vulnerable when he joins her, looking at her with something that seems more like curiosity than anything else. It's like... well, it's like being with a doctor. Like being with someone who's not making the connection between her body and sex. They should be shagging by now, and they're not. She's about to ask if he's changed his mind when he moves his hands to explore newly-exposed skin. She shifts to lie on her back, pulling him with her as his mouth starts wandering across her chest.

It's nice, but Jackie finds herself mentally timing how long it'll be before he gets bored with the formalities. It feels unfair to do that, and she has to give him points for at least making the effort. When she realises how laboured her breathing's become she starts to worry that he might not actually know what to do. He's an alien, after all. Maybe they don't do it like humans do.

"Aren't we going to have sex?" she manages.

He looks up from tormenting her stomach and blinks at her. "Isn't that what we're doing now?"

"No, sex is when you... well..."

"Oh," he says, a metaphorical lightbulb switching on. "Right. Sorry."

And then it's not quite what she meant, but she's not complaining because his mouth is settling between her legs and nine hundred years will teach you a thing or two. She grips his hair between her fingers without quite meaning to and gets a muffled sound from him that's suspicously like a giggle. It's not very manly, but Jackie couldn't really care less, all things considered. She's used to half-hearted token efforts though, and she pushes him away in case he ruins her.

He looks hurt. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Stop showing off," she says, willing herself not to just give in and let him do whatever he wants. "I don't want to get used to something and then not have it again."

"I just-"

"I thought you knew how to have sex?"

"I do."

"Well then," she says, "that's what I want."

He negotiates his was out of the remainder of his clothes and she hands him a condom from the bedside cabinet.

"I've got no idea where you've been," she says.

He nods. "Very sensible."

She arranges herself under the covers as he sorts himself out. She could probably get on the front page, she thinks when he gets into the bed with her. She wonders how much they'd pay her for the story, spreading her legs and resting her hands on his shoulders as he settles above her. His hands travel up from her knees, stroking their way up her thighs before settling one at her hips and bracing the other against the mattress to take his weight.

He keeps his eyes open when he enters her. "Jackie," he sighs like it and she are beautiful. He moves them in a smooth rearrangement of limbs and she feels his heartbeats thumping against her skin. "I don't do this much," he says, apologetic.

She meets his initial uncertain thrusts and tightens the hold her legs have on him. Like the other men he moans and pants and makes strange little noises of effort, but there's a tenderness to his movements that she hasn't felt in such a long time. He watches her carefully, and she can feel him trying to get the angle right each time. Showing off again, she tells herself, but she doesn't mind when it's like this. What she wants is the way he's looking at her, like she's as desirable as anyone else. The rest of it's just shagging an alien, even if he does seem to know exactly what she likes.

"You're very high-pitched," he says, and she realises that she's being a bit loud. The neighbours'll probably get angry, but she's young and sexy and everyone wants her, so the neighbours can go fuck themselves. She has years and years to do anything she wants and her entire body is shattering under him but she doesn't need it anyway. She laughs when she comes down again; she's so beautiful that he loses himself after hardly any time at all. No wonder. No wonder when she's soft and curvy and strong and she cares about people. She wraps her arms around the alien, who is also a man and who has given in to her like all the others. They're all the same, really, they're all just men. They're the one thing in the whole world that she understands completely. That's what she's good at, that's what makes her special.

Jackie Tyler has shagged an alien and she doesn't care about getting in the papers.


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