So Many Ways To Say I Love You
by Katta

"A la derecha!" Scott shouts, and we all run down the right-hand tunnel to flee the soldiers following us. I lay my hand against the wall, building up a solid block of ice between us and them. Logan is running right ahead of me, and I can tell from the fluttering feathers that it's annoying for him to be in an enclosed area, slowed down and forced to move in only two dimensions.

We reach the end of the tunnel and Scott starts climbing up the ladder to the surface, but turns for a moment to yell more directions, this time in Russian. It's only a split second before Ororo repeats them: "Split up once we're out of here. Jean, you take Logan back to the mansion. I want a second look at those computer files."

Only a split second, but I'm standing next to Logan, and in that split second I can see him rolling his eyes, practically hear the question he's voiced so many times he doesn't need to anymore. Why is that guy team leader again?

Because he's the best. Not just when we need stuff encrypted, which is what even Logan admits Scott is good at, but at any time that needs quick decisions. I do well enough as an X-man (woman, person), but I'm first and foremost a doctor, and I tend to choose to freeze my way out of every situation just so no one will get hurt. Sometimes it's the right thing to do. Sometimes it's not.

Ororo is the most powerful, and she was the leader at first, but in a jam she'd usually scan our minds to see who had the best idea, and more often than not that was Scott. So one day she walked up to professor Xavier and explained that she found no reason why she shouldn't give up command to Scott.

The professor didn't find any reason either. Nor did I. Scott was the only one who tried to argue -- until Logan came along.

But there's more to it than Logan voicing Scott's fears. There's me. Behind this "why" there's another, that even Logan doesn't dare to ask -- why Scott and I stay together.

The teams we form for this mission, that's how Logan thinks it should be. Me with him, Scott with Ororo who understands him like he understands everyone else. Simple logic. Of course, if logic had anything to do with it, there's no reason I should be with Logan either. The professor, perhaps, thawing my ice -- but that's laughable, and who says my ice needs thawing?

Logan lifts me away, and I have to fight the urge to freeze him. No man can touch me unless I want to anymore, but this is a mission, and he can't fly iced down. I'll have to allow it, and part of me rejoices in it. Face it, Logan is a very attractive man.

But so is the man left below, what with his high cheekbones, dimpled smile and those eyes too blue to be true. In all honesty, and even though he'd never believe it, Logan might stand a better chance if it wasn't for Scott's powers. How could I resist a guy who can say "I love you" in a new way every time he tries? The soft caress of a je t'aime, the playful ich liebe dich, a whispered ana behibek, and the sweet diphthongs of my favourite, jeg elsker dig.

To him, though, French and German and Arabic and Danish will never be enough. He waits for the rare time when the words are in English, and in the meantime does everything he can to show me. Romantic gestures like flowers (ordered off the Internet), wacky ones like moonlight rides in the Blackbird, and the tiny little things like taking my clothes off and folding them neatly when I come home from late night duty and fall asleep the moment I sit down on our bed.

I like Logan. He'll be a useful member of the team if he stays long enough, and I hope he does. But I also really hope that he gets his head out of his ass and sees the truth.


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