Random Shag
by Charles

Vince couldn't believe it, he was scoring a shag with a random bloke instead of Stuart. He had met the guy and his "hetero lifemate" at a bar.

There had been some sort of silent communication from Jay's partner as the two of them headed for the toilet. Vince thought it meant something like, "Go ahead, but wear a condom."

"Yeah, you're pretty motherfuckin' hot, man. I don't normally go for guys, but you're hot and that tubby bitch hasn't been putting out for awhile."

Vince groaned inwardly as they entered the bathroom. Just his luck, he was finally going to get a shag, but with a guy who never shut up.

"So how do you wanna do this? I mean, I'm not a fag, but I'll do guys sometimes."

Jay ran a hand through Vince's short, spiky hair and pulled him in for a kiss. Finally, Vince thought with relief, as they kissed.

But all too soon, the kiss was over and Jay was grabbing his crotch in an obscene manner. "So, are we gonna do this or what?"

"Um, yeah," Vince stammered. "C-condom," he said and quickly left the stall. Vince made his way back into the bar proper and found Silent Bob, smoking a cigarette at a table.

Bob quirked an eyebrow at Vince.

"Your, erm, partner. Does he ever...?"

"Shut up?"

Vince nodded.


Silent Bob felt sorry for the British guy as he watched him head back to the bathroom. In all their years together, he still hadn't found a way to get Jay to shut up.

Vince returned to the bathroom and found Jay in the stall, pants around his ankles, playing with his erection.

"Where the condom at? Let's go!"

"Right." Vince fumbled in his pocket for the condom, pulled it out and passed it to Jay.

"Whatchoo givin' it to me for? I ain't had a British guy fuck me before and I can tell that fat fuck waiting for me about it when we get done in here. Get that on and let's make with the love!"

Vince was a bit taken aback by Jay's directness, but complied, quickly undoing his own pants and getting the condom on.

Jay grabbed the handicap rail in the stall and held on as Vince entered him. "Damn, yo! Are all you British guys hung like a donkey?!"

Vince hid a smile and answered in the affirmative.

As they fucked, Jay's filthy monologue continued unabated, talking about how good it felt to have someone else's dick in his ass besides Silent Bob's, and asking Vince about British food ("What the fuck are bangers and mash?"), and telling Vince what to do and how to do it.

Afterwards, they cleaned up and Jay complimented Vince on his technique. "Damn! You should give lessons or somethin'! Motherfuckin' Silent Bob ain't tried nothin' new in years!"

Vince left the bar after escorting Jay back to his table, but he couldn't help overhearing Jay tell Bob, "Yo, we're fuckin' goin' to England so's you can learn to fuck like he did."


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