What It Is, What It Can Be
by Beth C.

It's always after the day has ended, with the stars sparkling against Torrance's skin, shimmering across the dark expanse of night in Missy's hair. It's with the voices reserved for the twilight hours, of whispers and yells hidden from all and saved for only them.

It's in Missy's back-seat, giggling, trying to find the right position, until it all falls away and the only thing Missy can choke out is a prayer, a plea, a dream.

"Oh Torr, please don't stop, please don't ever stop."

It's in Missy's pool, moon shimmering across the water, and the silence of the darkness only broken by their bodies moving the water. It's with goosebumps Missy knows she's causing, and how full she can feel as Torrance dips in and out of her.

When Missy slides under the water, to taste how sweet it can be, she almost doesn't want to come up. She wants her last blurry vision to be of blonde hair floating above her, and pure white legs wrapped around her.

It's in a little room by the beach, with dancing, soft music, and Torrance wrapping her arms around Missy's neck. Then it's the slow and subtle way dancing turns into something else, with the lights shut off, and then she's being pushed hard against the bed.

It's with Torrance nipping at her skin and thrusting in and out of her wetness. It's Torrance pulling Missy against her mouth, Missy's hands wound tightly through Torrance's hair and Torrance leaving marks from her grip on Missy's thighs.

Then it's Missy moving painfully slow down Torrance's body.

She wants to feel them bleed together, melt night into day, dark into bright, and passion into whatever it is Torrance feels in her head. She can feel Torrance bucking against her, see the faint outline of her legs pressed hard into the bed, and hear her breathe out sharply and softly.

But they are still strangers.

It's still always in the dark.

In the few minutes before the day fully overcomes the night, and light is just beginning to show, Missy can see what she can never have.

She can see blue eyes fluttering, and all of the skin that she can capture with her mouth. She can see the hands that will feel every inch of her body, but never hold her in public. She can see the lips that kiss so hard they bruise, but never utter during the day what can be said at night.

Then Torrance wakes up, and Missy feels miles away. The other side of the bed will grow cold, as Torrance rushes to the shower to wash the night away.

Once, it was in Missy's bedroom, with parents away and Cliff at College. It was with the hope Torrance wouldn't run away in the morning. But with open eyes once again came the realization of what she's done and what Missy wants.

"Want me to join you sweetie?" Missy smiled, as Torrance padded towards the door, "You never let me shower with you, it could be fun."

Torrance just frowned, "I don't think so Miss, I want to be alone."

"You always do this, why can't we ever be together in the daytime?" Missy felt her chest tightening, as the anger built, "When can I tell people that you're my girlfriend?"

Torrance shook her head, "It's too complicated to explain to people what we have. I don't even know what we would tell them. I'm not your girlfriend, I'm not sure what I am."

"What do we have then?" She asked, as the tears started to slide down her cheeks, "What do we have?"

"I don't know what we have," Torrance answered blankly.

"I love you Torr," Missy choked out, "I love you so much."

"I know Missy, I know."

They never met in Missy's bedroom again, and Missy never questioned what she had.

Having Torrance at night, was better then never having her at all.


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