They Just Don't
by Alison

Weasleys don't fuck each other.

They just don't.

It's Dean's fault the rumors started. And mine. But mostly Dean. He was always making up rude songs and jokes. We all thought they were wickedly funny. Hermione just said we were immature. Yeah. But comparing Harry's hair to unkempt pubes was still funny.

That day they were talking about Fred and George.

"Isn't it strange how you never see them apart?" Someone said.

"Nah," That was me, "They do everything together."

Dean with his filthy mind, wiggled his eyebrows suggestively


For some reason I keep remembering the time I saw this guy fucking a girl in the shower. She was pinned against the ceramic wall. Moaning and simpering.

I don't know why it popped into my head. They didn't even have red hair.

Not Weasleys.

Weasleys don't fuck each other.

They just don't.

It wasn't the first incest joke to go around. There were the usual ones about Malfoy and his dad. Slytherins deserved it. They were the ones who always talked about keeping the blood pure. There are only so many pure blood families in the world. That's why their marriages were so carefully arranged.

There were ones before our time. They tended to die out sooner or later.

It started with just our group having the occasional snicker when the twins went off together. Then the jokes. Then the conversations.

"Do you think it's wrong if it's twins?" Seamus asked. Dean gave him a suspicious look. 'Most everybody did.

"Hang on! I was just sayin' if it's twins it's like they're one person anyway. It'd be like wankin'."

Some people laughed. Others made noises. I pretended to be sick.

"That's feral! They're not one person. They're brothers. They're MY brothers!"

Weasleys don't fuck each other.

They just don't.

I had trouble getting to sleep that night. Not because I was thinkin' about my brothers or anything disgusting. I kept getting the couple in the shower in my head.

The girl in the shower was raped. I knew that at the time. She didn't want him inside her. Why didn't I help her? I didn't do anything.

I just didn't.

The Slytherins got hold of the Weasley incest joke and Malfoy used it retaliation for the stuff we said about him and his dad. It made it more than just a dumb joke. It was an attack on me and my family.

"It makes sense," Ferret-face said, "It's why they all end up with red hair. No one but a Weasley would marry into that family."

The saying was worse. I heard a Ravenclaw using it to pass on the Slytherin orgy rumor.

"The Slytherins have more bed hopping than the Burrow at a Weasley family reunion."

Even Harry laughed at that one. He didn't after he saw Ginny crying. I couldn't even talk to her without people whispering.

Dean made a joke after dinner about Weasley male bonding and I hit him.

The stuff with Ginny I could handle. The boy stuff gets to me. Hermione says I'm homophobic. I am.

I know why, too. It just came to me today. There was no girl in the shower. It was a boy. They were both boys. I don't understand how I could have messed that bit up. Prob'ly got traumatized or something. I still don't want to think about it.

I just don't.

Fred and George are encouraging it, when they're not defending Ginny's honor. The Teachers, who are naturally suspicious of the pair, think that they're up to something. Maybe blowing up the school or worse. But they're just teasing, putting their arms around each other. I hate it.

Sometimes, after a game, I go down to the showers to wait for Harry. The twins were playing up again; somehow their mischief was encouraged by victory. Hell, they were encouraged by air.

"Oh brother of mine, secret lover, lets celebrate." Fred said at the top of his lungs. It was met with a few giggles from the rest of the team.

"Into the shower quickly, my love, and hope we are not discovered."

More laughs. I glared. George winked at me and pushed Fred into the shower.

I began to panic. All the large noises seemed to go down and the little sounds were louder. I ran.

It doesn't mean anything. Just because I remember two redhead blokes in the shower doesn't mean they were Weasleys. They weren't.

Weasleys don't fuck each other.

They just don't.

I didn't really see anything in the shower that day.

Just the ceramic wall Percy had me pinned against.

Weasleys don't fuck each other.

They just don't.


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