Something To Sing About
by Twinkledru J.

Why didn't anyone ever tell me how beautiful the world is?

Hell, why didn't anyone ever just mention to me how beautiful Sunnydale is when it's early morning and quiet, and it's just you on the street and the bakers making yummy breakfast pastries?

The last time I remember seeing a Sunnydale sunrise is from the top of a tower, and I didn't cry then because I wanted to jump.

And now I'm seeing the light edging over the buildings and burning away the morning mists, and it's just...


Why didn't anyone ever mention it?

I've started getting up early on Saturday mornings and walking around Sunnydale for about an hour before and an hour after sunrise.

I never noticed how beautiful it is, you know?

Every breath I breathe in morning magic. Cool air and no cars and the sun is so...different. I'm usually inside or asleep when it's at this angle, I don't see it like this much.

Why didn't anyone ever tell me how beautiful the things I fight for are?

The coffee places in the center of town open early, but I don't really like to get coffee this early. Hurts my stomach. But tea is nice, and I like the way the cup feels in my hands, all the warmth creep-seeping into my fingers by diffusion.

It is by diffusion, right? Maybe not. But I like the way diffusion sounds.

I can stand where the tower was and wait for the sun to hit me, and it feels like a spell, even with the grit and piles of crap and my tea getting cold.

Why didn't anyone ever mention that a sunrise in Sunnydale will make you cry for the sheer beauty of it?

The edge of the roof of the building in front of me is starting to glow, and the sun'll be over it soon, and I'm standing where I died and it's a morning like the one I died on, and I feel sleepy and cool and my hands are warm and I'm alive.

The light makes something in the sand sparkle, and it's creeping towards my shoes, and --

It's the most beautiful thing.

The world.

My life.

My tears.

My tea.

My hands.

My feet.

Dawn's taller than me.

Anya's a demon again.

Xander's got more issues than a magazine collector.

Willow's dealing.

Giles is flying back with Willow.

Tara's dead.

Spike's got a soul.

I'm alive again.

I'm dead again.

Mom's dead.

Spike's in love with me.

Riley's leaving.

Dawn's the Key.

Willow's gay.

Oz is leaving.

I'm in college. Angel's leaving. I've graduated. Faith is evil. The Watchers are firing Giles because he loved me too much. There's a new Slayer. Xander and Cordelia are through. Angel's back from Hell. I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. I killed Angel Kendra's dead Miss Calendar's been murdered Oz is a werewolf Willow's dating Oz Angel's evil I'm in love with Angel there's some new vampire in town, calls himself Spike I'm alive again I'm dead buffy will face the master and she will die cordelia wants to help us gotta talk to willow if you don't want to fail you can pick up some extra books in the library don't want to be late for your first day of school --

There's sun on my face, and I can see this sweet warm glow when I close my eyes against it.

I'm in the sunlight on the place where I died.

Why didn't anyone ever tell me how beautiful the world is?


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