Buying The Dress
"No-no, I-I really don't want to talk about it! I don't!. Especially with you."
She leaves and I'm shattered. What did "Especially with you?" mean? I mean, doesn't she understand that I'm feeling weak and vulnerable here? That this is me feeling lonely?
If Monica Gellar were here right now, I would lecture her. This is not about me. Because this is not about stealing her thunder, because it's her wedding announcement. I didn't really plan to just be with Ross. It was sudden.
Compulsive, you know? Like when you're window shopping. And you see that dress in the window. This gorgeous dress with beautiful trim, and although you can't afford it, it falls to the perfect length, and its fits you exactly, so..you buy it.
It's like that. Because even though you can't pay your light bill for awhile, you have this dress and it's you.
So it wasn't about me. It was me, but in the moment of wanting something that I haven't had, that dress I had to buy, that chance I had to take. Because you look at someone you love, and they have so much going for them, with their engagement, and you have what? Nothing. So you buy that dress, you grab that chance and you have a little moment where things are right with yourself.