The Mating Habits Of The Crumple-Horned Snorkack
(And How It Relates To Ginny Weasley)
by Netgirl

Ginny set off down the corridor of the Hogwarts express in search of Dean in order to say goodbye and remind him to owl her over the summer, she knew she would be unable to talk to him once they disembarked and she got caught up in the drama that was inevitably caused by having large numbers of the Weasley family present at any one time.

She was so caught up in the search for her elusive boyfriend that she almost collided with Luna as the blonde drifted out of a compartment inches in front of her. "Oh, hello Ginny," Luna seemed remarkably unconcerned that she'd almost been walked into, "I was hoping to see you, can we speak in here for a moment?"

Ginny cast a longing look down the corridor, decided that as it was a moving train Dean probably wasn't going anywhere, and followed Luna into the compartment and stood awkwardly inside the compartment as Luna gazed lazily at a point a little above Ginny's left ear. She cleared her throat when it didn't appear that Luna was in a particular hurray to say anything.

"When you finish kissing that Gryffindor boy and start kissing girls-"

"What!?" Ginny, who had thought she was used to Luna's bizarre statements, boggled, "Kissing girls?"

"Yes, my father once had an article about it in the Quibbler."

"What, about bisexuality in Hogwarts students?"

Luna looked at Ginny as if she found this a very odd thing to say. "No", she replied nonchalantly, "about the mating habits of Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, how the females get bored of the males after the first year and only mate with other females. But it applies here." It could be said to Luna's credit that she didn't take the following three minutes of abject silence or Ginny's thousand yard stare personally. "So when you move on to girls, please think about me."

Ginny gaped for a few moments before finding her voice, "Luna, are you asking me out?" A small nod of Luna's head was the only response as she continues to watch a spot slightly above Ginny's left ear. "Why?"

"Because you're pretty and clever, you're always nice to me and to the best of my knowledge you've never stolen any of my possessions."

Ginny's mind floundered as she tried to compose a response to this honest, if very odd, compliment. She was distracted from this by Luna's mouth being placed firmly over her closed lips.

Ginny could not have frozen more solidly had the full body bind curse been placed on her. One of the butterbeer corks from Luna's necklace was digging uncomfortably into her collarbone; her vision was obscured by Luna's lacklustre blonde hair surrounding both their faces. And Luna carried on kissing Ginny, not taking the other girls complete lack of response as disheartening.

Luna didn't kiss like Dean Thomas or Michael Corner or Aaron Armstrong, all of whom kissed very enthusiastically. Luna kissed like she did everything else in life, as if it was something she had drifted into by accident and then discovered she liked. It was nice. Soft. And just as Ginny had closed her eyes and begun to enjoy the relaxed sensations Luna drifted away.

"I promised my father I'd finish reading his editorial on how rogue kelpies are controlling the ministry of magic," Luna gestured vaguely at the open magazine on the seat.

"Right," Ginny said, sounding almost as dazed as Luna usually did, "Ok, have a nice summer. Send me an owl if you like."

"I'll send you a picture of a Crumple-Horned Snorkack."


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