Some Kind Of Beautiful
by Jill B. Wilde

It really is nice out on the open road. Britney snuggles closer to Chris; nips at his ear, the fuzz starting to grow on his chin...The RV doesn't swerve; it's kinda hard to try to snuggle on someone when, like, they are drive a really large vehicle, such as this one......mmmmmmmmmmmm.............nummy!

Britney thinks that the Buffy appearance is a really good idea. JC thinks so, too! Chris..well, she thinks that maybe he just needs to get used to the idea of his girl doing full-frontal nudity on a primetime TV show with...uh, whips and vampires and dominatrixes and blood and shit.

Oops! Uh, "crap." She giggles. Right. Crap, poop, exretori, pigeon dung...it's really all just, mmm---- uh, blushing. It's....uhhhhhhh...............it's all, unnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhh------------------------------

It's really all just pretend, fake, tacky ((AIR QUOTES)) nice words for, like, shit. Get over it, already. I mean, every body knows shit happens, right??

((rolls eyes)) Losers. Incompetent fools....Every body knows that, like, one container of junk is waaaaaaay so much more not necessary than, like, an actual HUMAN.

BITCHES!!!!! ((shakes and bakes a Furious, Mighty Blonde fist..))

For some reason, Chris blinks. Like, and does it again. This is a really, really awkward moment because Little!Chris decides to, uhhh, skedaddle. Skedaddle! I like that word.

((smiles)) "Every thing I like, I tend to get. Sooner or later---"

Garbage trails off, as Chris, out of embarassment, maybe, flips on the radio station to Shirley Manson (who would look mighty tasty with Gwen Stefani, doncha know?? Even though Gwen's, like, married to Gavin now...)

(((sigh...))

And it's Morcheeba, very mellow, just chic enough past boo-zhey to, like, keep the groove goin....

You and me we're meant to be Walking free in harmony One fine day we'll fly away Don't you know that Rome wasn't built in a day

In this day and age it's so easy to stress 'Cause people are strange and you can never second guess In order to love child we got to be strong I'm caught in the crossfire why can't we get along

'Cause you and me we're meant to be Walking free in harmony One fine day we'll fly away Don't you know that Rome wasn't built in a day

I'm having a daydream, we're getting somewhere I'm kissing your lips and running fingers through your hair I'm as nervous as you 'bout making it right Though we know we were wrong, we can't give up the fight Oh no

'Cause you and me we're meant to be Walking free in harmony One fine day we'll run away Don't you know that

Suddenly, like- Britney starts.....moaning. Loudly.

"Uhh...baby?" Chris queries.

"Don't stop..."

Chris glances at Lance. Sitting idly, staring back at them from the passenger's side...

"Uh, okay."

Britney bursts into giggles when she looks at Lance too. It's the rolled eyes with the bald head, I swear to gawd....

......

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.........."

Eminem gets on. Lance flips the radio station off, after the Fine Kirkpatrick Ass reference. There might be kicking, but it shore as hell ain't Gay-happy Marshall....

.....loser.....

..........

"UNHHHHHHHHHHHHH.........."

"You guys, can you, like, wait for a second when we actually GET to the Grand Canyon!!!!???.........."

"Ah mean, daymn, y'all act like you hadn't been humping like bored cows since June........"

".........and we don't even have cows in Mississipi where I cuhhm from............."

((rolls eyes AGAIN)) ".........ah mean, really!....................Have some considerayshun, ya horny muthafuckas................."

Lance trails off uncertainly; Britney is grinding her hips towards Chris'.........uhhhh......................well, let's just say that little!Chris is awake and back in action...............................

The smell of slightly burning Veggie Burgers in Soy-based Terriyaki sauce makes its way toward Lance's nostrils.

Ummm........GruuuuuuuhhhB.....................

I used to wear black.......but now I'm blue.........I used to tell lies.. now I tell the truth..I'm not successful, noooo- but I.......don't minde....... Success makes you old before your time.........

I drink the drug of hope with mayy brek-fast.. ....to ward off bitterness.......

..I......was......bad....... .......and now I'm goood....... I was Lolita..........and now I'm Red ........Riding Hood................

Lance looks out. It was cloudy in the morning. It rained, ever just a teensy bit, when Jup drove his car away earlier. Brit made sure not to come out of the RV.

And the same things looked different.

It's the end of summer, when you move to another place...

//And I feel like the neighbor's girl who will never be the same..// Lance muses...

He looks at the sky; at the wide, open spaces...He looks at how Chris has turned cowboy, and, like, how every other night Britney makes Christopher lie down so she can massage his calves. And other places, probably, but Lance doesn't really wanna think about that right now...Maybe later.

He grins. If JC's good. The manly man, of not-at-all kitteny proportions, comes along, also with a head shaved--- to match his lover's------- hey! atleast he got him to stop Nairing his arms. Besides, Lance likes fuzz. "I like Fluffy!"

JC is holding a plate of finished Veggie Burgers.

Grins easily, wide as the blue.

"Hey, I only had onions and tomatoes, okay?? And we're out of Ketchup and Lea Perrins sauce....so it's aaall mustard from here.........."

The song changes. "........"

JC puts the plate down on the low-lying pretend-coffee table... I am paralysed, I can't talk or move

He grins, because Britney is now exaggerating her whimpers and hushes...

What could I say

He decides he wants to take Lance's queerly bitchy look off his face.

And before I have the chance to think

He straddles Lance.

I tell this man my name
Licks. Neck. Gently.
(like a swarthy, healthy puppy!)

((possibly a Golden Retriever...or, y'know, a schnauzer-------

I tell this man my name
Lance decides to fergit about nasty-ass Brit Brit, and the Fine Kirkpatrick Ass...

He smiles and looks away

For now.
But I still don't know the answer to this day
"Oh, Baby..."

Bjork begins to croon a lullaby for morning.

Chris gapes.

 

Hot topic is the way that we rhyme
Hot topic is the way that we rhyme
One step behind the drum style
One step behind the drum style

Carol Rama and Eleanor Antin
Yoko Ono and Carolee Schneeman
You're getting old, that's what they'll say, but
Don't give a damn I'm listening anyway

Stop, don't you stop
I can't live if you stop
Don't you stop

Gretchen Phillips and Cibo Matto
Leslie Feinberg and Faith Ringgold
Mr. Lady, Laura Cottingham
Mab Segrest and The Butchies, man
Don't stop

Don't you stop
We won't stop
Don't you stop

So many roads and so much opinion
So much shit to give in, give in to
So many rules and so much opinion
So much bullshit but we won't give in

Stop, we won't stop
Don't you stop
I can't live if you stop

Tammy Rae Carland and Sleater-Kinney
Vivienne Dick and Lorraine O'Grady
Gayatri Spivak and Angela Davis
Laurie Weeks and Dorothy Allison

Stop, don't you stop
Please don't stop
We won't stop

Gertrude Stein, ! Marlon Riggs, ! Billie Jean King, ! Ut, !DJ Cuttin Candy, !!David Wojnarowicz, !Melissa York, !Nina Simone, !Ann Peebles, !Tammy Hart,! The Slits, !!Hanin Elias, !Hazel Dickens, !Cathy Sissler, !Shirley Muldowney,! Urvashi !Vaid, Valie !Export, Cathy! Opie, James !Baldwin, Diane Dimassa, Aretha Franklin, Joan Jett, Mia X, Krystal Wakem, Kara Walker, Justin!!!! Bond, Bridget Irish, Juliana Lueking, Cecilia Dougherty, Ariel Skrag,????? The Need, Vaginal !!!Creme Davis, Alice Gerard, Billy Tipton, Julie Doucet, !!Yayoi Kusama, Eileen Myles ! .........

Oh no no no don't stop stop

 

"The summer ends and we wonder where we are
And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car
And you both look so young
And last night was hard, you said
You packed up every room
And then you cried and went to bed
But today you closed the door and said
"We have to get a move on.
It's just that time of year when we push ourselves ahead,
We push ourselves ahead."

 

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