Needs
I think that Matthew will understand when I tell it to him, finally. I'm tired of being someone I'm not. I might have melted in his hands like butter or clay ready to be formed by a master, but i'm past that. There is something in me that wants to break out of the form he recreated me in.
I'm not girlfriend material, I never was. I told him that and he said he understood that I had needs to be met. That he was open to certain things.
I've always been open, Matt, I tell him and he laughs. He doesn't need me, he just wants me.
But Wendy and Arlene needs me, and I need them. I need to be with them. My fingers are lively and my heart hums in anticipation of them. I have a familiarity with their bodies, not only beacuse I've been with them so many times but because they are women like me.
I need that. There is a difference between a want and a need. I want Matthew beacuse he is nice and he has a penis. I need Wendy and Arlene because they consume me, my flame burns brighter.