by Cosmic

Bobby Hobbes understands irony, my friend, but how rich is that? How fucking rich is that?

Bobby, please listen to me.

Please, Bobby, put the knife down.

I'm not gonna throw it, Claire. I'm not gonna stab anyone with it. I'm not gonna--


I'm not.

You didn't need to put me in one of these, Claire. I was fine.


I was.

I didn't think you were. I still don't.

Would you please say something?

Bobby, talk to me.

I'm a trained-- will you talk to me if I take the jacket off?

There. All better now?


...I didn't mean it like that. God, you must know that, Bobby.

You know that, right?

I hate talking to myself, and I'm doing it right now, so could you please say...anything.

Because that would mean you're crazy, doesn't it, in fancy Claire- world where the world still turns and nothing ever changes no matter what changes?

You wanted me to talk, so I'm talking.


Bobby Hobbes was asked to talk, so Bobby Hobbes is talking. What would you like to talk about, Claire?

Anything, was it, Claire?

Fine. Let's talk about irony.


If you want me to say even one word to you ever again, you won't finish that. You won't say my name like an admonition.

Fine. Irony. Irony's a fine subject.

Yeah, it is. We were talking about the very same subject, weren't we, Claire - or was it Dr. Keeply then? - when we were so rudely interrupted by men in white uniforms, because I happened to be holding a paperknife.

A fucking paperknife, Claire, and you sent me here. I've spent two days in this room, because of a paperknife.

You weren't holding a letter.

I liked that knife. But let's talk about irony.

Fine. Let's.

Fawkes gave me paperknife, that's why I was holding it.


It seemed like something that was. Poignant, then, to the discussion at hand.

Because he gave it to me.

Please don't cry, Claire.

I hate seeing women cry. I'm helpless, then. Fawkes is much better at--

Was much better. Claire?

You wanted me to talk, but it's not fun being the sole conversationalist, but I'll do it for you. Especially if I can get a little smile in - see, that wasn't so hard, was it? A little smile in return.

Thank you, Bobby.

All Bobby Hobbes knows about irony is what Bobby Hobbes has been through in life. And what that chick with the long, dark hair sang in that song.

Darien would say 'the great philosopher this-and-that once said something-something-something'. He'd say that, and I can't because I'm not him.

I'm not him, Claire, and you're not him, either.

No, I'm not.

I'm used to conversing with him. We have this chemistry - not that we're attracted to each other or anything, because Bobby Hobbes is one-hundred per cent all about the women. Other than that one time when he kissed me and I really think that was more to due to the--


He's a good kisser, Fawkes is.

I know.

Aww, crap. Claire? Claire, please don't.

We can continue this later if you want to.

Claire, you can leave if you want to. I'm good at talking to--

--myself. I'm sorry, Claire.



I didn't expect to see you.

I still have things to do. My study on the bio-molecular structure of the--


I don't want to leave this room.

It's okay, Claire. We can stay here as long as you like.

I came here when I left you--oh my God, Bobby. I didn't sign you out. I'm--

It's okay, Claire. There's a 48-hour limit they can hold a person without their own consent or a doctor's orders or something. It's fine, Claire.


It's fine.

No, it's not fine, but we don't want to admit that, do we?

Stubbornness is a virtue in some cultures. Fawkes always did it well enough.

Yes, he did.

So, you wanna talk about irony?

I've missed that laugh, Claire.

I've missed laughing. Thank you. Yes. Tell me about irony, Bobby.

Well, a twenty-first century philosopher named Bobby Hobbes said this--

--oh, I hear he's very good.


Please continue.

Stop grinning. Anyway, one of his philosophies was that mentally imbalanced men who talk to themselves - or their best friend's former keepers and good friends - a lot are usually right, but that's not what he said about irony.

What he said about irony was...

You don't have to do this, Bobby.

Yeah, I do. I need to say it out loud, so I hear it myself.

You don't know what you have until it's gone. Fawkes spent two years trying to get that thing out of his head and stop going invisible and most of all, stop going crazy from the quicksilver, and then the strangest thing happened.

He got his wish.

Yeah. And two days later he gets in a car crash and dies.

I'll never forget that statement the guy that hit him made, I was right there listening to it while you were trying to save Fa-- save Darien.

"It was so dark and I couldn't see him coming. Oh, God. Almost as if his car hadn't been there until the crash. Like he was invisible."

Now that, Claire, that's irony for you.


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